But Now
by loonygirl22
Summary: What hurts more? Seeing her everyday or Remembering that its your fault? DMXHG. You might be confused so be sure to read up to the last part.


**A/N:** Hello everyone... welcome to my first Romance/Angsty/Tragedy fic... you all know me from my humor fics so please bare with me on this one (I'm less confident with this so if ever, pleaselet me think otherwise)... please review!

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimers apply

I wrote this because of a bet... so yehey, I did it! Dedicated to pinkstar146 and sutefanichan!

On with you then...

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The air around me was crisp. The weather was not too hot but not too cold. She'd love this. She'd always been a fan of midnight strolls. We used to do this a lot. Sometimes not even talking. Just looking at the scenery while holding hands. Warming each other up with single contact. But now, I remember why I'm here.

I haven't seen her since last year. Seems like a long time, isn't it? But you're not me. It didn't seem like a long time to me. No, it seemed like an eternity. Just simply seeing her brightens my day. But now, it casts a shadow on my face.

I reached the door to her room. I sighed. Thiswas it. It's a special day for her, her birthday. Every year I come here to celebrate it with her. And every year my heart breaks a little more.

"Draco! Honey! You're here!" Hermione said cheerfully. Her face was the same just like every year. I couldn't even bring myself to smile.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked. She's always like that. Always thinking of me. It hurts.

"I brought you a present" I lamely said.

"Thank you so much! I love it, look how soft it is!" she said cheerily

I laughed bitterly. "You haven't even touched it yet" I said.

_Blood was everywhere. The stench of the dead was filling me up inside. I have to find her. I was so afraid so I ran. I see people asking for my help but I didn't mind them. I have to find her. She had gone off with Harry to fight that bastard. I couldn't let her get away. Magical and non-magical curses were muttered everywhere. Screams of pain filled the air. The more I heard, the more I wanted to scream with them. Where was she? _

"Hello, Draco" Harry said, putting an arm around Hermione

"Harry" I curtly said. I sat at the couch near me. My knees were failing me. I look around the room. It was still the same just like last year. Everything was the same. And yet, oh so, different.

"_Ah, Draco" I heard a voice say. The voice I hated with every fiber of my being. My father's. _

"_Come now." He said. All of the anger in me was boiling. I hastily pointed my wand at him. I can feel energy surging through my body, ready to give him the killing curse._

"_Down, boy. You wouldn't want to do that if you still want to see the mudblood" he smirked. No. Merlin, no. Not Hermione. I was seething. I will kill him if he did something to her. No. I will kill him._

"So, how have you been Draco?" Hermione asked, sitting on the arm of Harry's chair.

"I've been good. You?" I always ask that.

"Never better. Aren't we Harry?" she asked Harry. She always does that too.

"Yeah." Harry grinned, just like always.

"_Crucio!" that evil bastard shouted. Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs. I was crying, seeing her like that. She is my life. But I can't do anything. I was under the Imperius._

_Then the bastard turned to me and removed the Imperius but I was still immobile. _

"_Having fun, Draco?" he sneered._

"_Fuck you" was the only thing I said._

"_Who taught you those kind of words?" he laughed "Fuck me, he said!" Death Eaters were gathering around us. I feel hopeless._

"_Crucio!" he shouted. Pain was unbearable. I wanted to die right then. But he won't let me. "See how I can do that to you? Deprive you of death?" he said. I would kill him with my bear hands._

"_Touch her and prepare for death" _

"_I wouldn't do that. It would be a disgrace. Filthy—" he waved his wand. A new curse that I have never heard before hit Hermione "—filthy—" waved again "—mudblood"_

_She screamed again. _

"_Kill me. Spare her" I can't stand it anymore_

"_Alright… Avada Kedavra!" a bright green light left his wand. Everything went black._

"Look Harry, Draco brought me something." Hermione happily proclaimed while pointing at the pile of gifts still untouched that I've been bringing every year.

"That's great, Hermione." Harry replied, smiling broadly.

I sit there looking at their exchange. It pains me every single time I see them. I could've been there. But fate never gave me a chance.

_I woke up at St. Mungo's with a pair of blood shot eyes staring at me. "Where's Hermione?" I asked immediately._

"_Draco…" Ginny sobbed_

"_Where's Hermione?" I shouted at her. My worst fear began creeping back into my mind._

"_She's gone." Ginny finally said._

"_No… no… no…" I tried to get out of bed but I was held down with a magical force. This cant be._

"_I have to see her. She's waiting for me..." _

"_Draco… she's gone… she took the curse for you. She blocked it, Draco…She apparated in front of you and... she's gone" Ginny whispered the last part as it sank in, in her too. _

"_No… no…" Emptiness. That's what I felt._

_Later on, I found out that in order to kill Voldemort, Harry has to sacrifice himself. _

_He did._

"Draco, why are you crying?" Hermione asked me.

"Why did you have to do it?" I said. Tears were freely flowing already

"I saved you. You're alive. That's what matters" she calmly said

I shake my head. It was unfair. I was the one who was supposed to be dead. Harry went to Hermione's portrait frame and once again put an arm around her shoulders

"We are alright, Draco. We hope you are too" he whispered

I stood there all alone, talking to portraits. Ivisited them every year for ten years now. But it still hurts. I relive it everyday. The pain, all of it for ten years. We were so happy. But now… but now…

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